Monday, May 3, 2010


Saw a terrific one-man show the other day -- Frank Ferrante performing his tribute to Groucho Marx. The guy was great; he looked like him, dressed like him, sounded like him, and pretty much nailed his mannerisms.

And, of course, there were all those curmudgeonly, cynical quotes the curmudgeonly, cynical among us fans have come to know and cherish.

Welcome to the Merry Month of May edition of Not Your Usual Marketing Tips from JDK Marketing Communications Management.

"What would it take to buy back my introduction to you?"

"I've had a perfectly lovely evening. But this wasn't it."

"From the moment I picked this book up until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend to actually read it."

"I've worked myself up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty."

"I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every Monday from 7:30 to 8.00 to educate America. They couldn't educate America if they started at 6:30."

It occurred to me that in the field of marketing, advertising and publicity, there've been some quotable teeth marks left, as well. None here by Groucho, but some pretty impressive folks just the same.

(And please keep in mind, I'm not knocking my chosen profession, nor the hands -- my clients -- that feed me; we're just having fun here...)

"All publicity is good, except an obituary notice."
Brendan Behan

"Advertising is legalized lying."
H.G. Wells

"Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don't have for something they don't need."
Will Rogers

"An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission."
Fred Allen

"I am one who believes that one of the greatest dangers of advertising is not that of misleading people, but of boring them to death."
Leo Burnett

"I saw a subliminal advertising message, but only for a second"
Steven Wright

"In advertising, not to be different is virtual suicide."
Thornton Wilder

"In marketing I've seen only one strategy that can't miss - and that is to market to your best customers first, your best prospects second and the rest of the world last."
John Romero

"Ninety eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hardworking, honest Americans. It's the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then, we elected them."
Lily Tomlin

That's it for this edition. But before I sign off until the first Tuesday of next month when we reconvene in this same spot, I want to wish all my friends, colleagues and clients on the distaff side (who qualify)...a Happy and respected Mother's Day!

Joel Kweskin
704.846.4835 office

704.575.8850 mobile

Facebook, LinkedIn, Plaxo